I'm
03/21/2002 | Остап!
I AM CANADIAN
(clears Thoat)
(the canadian one is actually a commercial and is all true!)
Hey...
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...
and I don't live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
although I'm certain they're really, really nice.
I have a Prime Minister, not a President.
I speak English & French, NOT American.
and I pronounce it 'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.
DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,
AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.
A TOQUE IS A HAT, A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,
AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!!
CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!
THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY! AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!
MY NAME IS JOE!! AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!
-------------------------------
I AM ITALIAN
Ciao...
I'm not a construction worker, a brick layer or a school janitor.
I don't live in a basement, or eat pasta every night.
And I don't drive a Camaro.
And I don't know Tony, Rocco or Gino from Woodbridge,
Although I'm certain they're very, very hairy people.
I drink wine...not beer. I don't use utensils for pizza.
I believe in open bars at weddings, not cash.
And its pronounced ESPRESSO, not EX-PRESSO.
I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during the worldcup.
Gelato IS ice cream, Biscotti ARE cookies,
Antonio Columbro IS the best of the tenors,
And it's Broo-SKetta, not Broo-SHetta!!
Italy is the ONLY country shaped like footwear,
The FIRST nation of soccer, And the BEST part of Europe!!
My name is Guiseppe !!!
AND I AM ITALIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
---------------------------------
I AM PAKISTANI
Allo,
I'm not a cab driver, a 7-11 clerk or a gas attendant.
I don't go to fleamarkets, or worship elephants, or eat with my hands.
And I don't know Akbar, Rampreet or Mohammed from Rundle,
Although I'm certain they're very smelly people.
I eat roti....not pita. I don't only shower once a week,
I believe in discounts, not full price.
And I pronounce it WHAT, not VHAT.
I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during a terrorist
siege.
A turban IS an article of clothing.
Spicy foods ARE better than mild foods
Curry is a VERY tasty dish,
and it IS pronounced Gaun-dee,not Gun-dee ,GAUN-dee!!
Pakistan IS a third world country,
The first nation of Cricket
And the BEST part of the middle east!!
My name is Raheem!
AND I AM PAKISTANI!!!!
------------------------------------
I AM CHINESE!
Wai...
I'm not a cook, or a computer tech, or the owner of a laundromat.
I don't live with my parents, I don't eat dog. I don't drive a souped-up Civic.
And I don't know Ping, Ching or Wing from Beddingt Heights
Although I'm certain they're very rice... I mean nice people.
I use chopsticks, not a fork. I rarely drive on the sidewalk.
I believe in giving cash, not gifts
And I pronounce it HELLO, not HARRO.
I can proudly wave my country's flag at a tank during a massacre,
Dim sum IS brunch, Gwai-Los ARE white folk
Jet Li can kick Van Damme's ass anyday.
And it IS pronounced Gon Hay Fa Choi, not Gon HEE Fat Chick
China is the LARGEST country in Asia
The FIRST nation of PING-PONG,
And the BEST remaining COMMUNIST COUNTRY!!
My name is FUNG!!!
AND I AM CHINESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
------------------------------------
I AM AMERICAN
Wassup...
I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked.
And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very
well.
I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg,
although I'm pretty sure they were American.
I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated,
Guns settle disputes, not discussions.
Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,
And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go
somewhere.
Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS,
Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,
I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL!
The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world,
The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!
MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,
AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!
--------------------------------------
I AM RUSSIAN.
(Puts the vodka glass down and takes a pickle)
Privet.
I'm not a nuclear phisicist, or figure skater ...
and I don't live on Steeles and Bathurst, or eat black caviar, or drive Lada...
and I don't know Svetlana, Olga or Nadezhda from russianbride.com,
although I'am certain, they are realy, realy, nice in bed.
I drink by glass, not by shuts
I belive Vodka should be much cheaper.
And pay should be much higher
I do not wear furcoat, even though it's nice and warm.
I don't like canadian winter, but russian winter is worse.
I dont't eat in MacDonalds, there is no dancing there, and they don't serve an alcohol in teacups.
Russia is the largest country in the world,
The first nation in SPACE
And the best place to practice Russian.
My name is Igor, and I am RUSSIAN.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am Ukrainian
I am not a farmer or soldier
and I do not live in Winipeg, eat perogies, or play bandura
and I don't know much about Ukraine, or much of Ukrainian language,
although I am certain the country is nice and language is pleasant.
I don't care about politics
I don't care whom we do have Prime Minister or a President
And I speak Canadian, no matter what some people say its English
I could proudly fly my country flag, but I don't
I rarely it lard, but I like it
They make it dipped in chocolate in Ukraine, I heard.
And it is THE Ukraine, not just Ukraine
And it is almost developed country
and it almost Europe, though it is in Europe
And it is the best place I never been to...
My name is Mikey(Mykola)
AND I AM UKRAINIAN!!!
(clears Thoat)
(the canadian one is actually a commercial and is all true!)
Hey...
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...
and I don't live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
although I'm certain they're really, really nice.
I have a Prime Minister, not a President.
I speak English & French, NOT American.
and I pronounce it 'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.
DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,
AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.
A TOQUE IS A HAT, A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,
AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!!
CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!
THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY! AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!
MY NAME IS JOE!! AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!
-------------------------------
I AM ITALIAN
Ciao...
I'm not a construction worker, a brick layer or a school janitor.
I don't live in a basement, or eat pasta every night.
And I don't drive a Camaro.
And I don't know Tony, Rocco or Gino from Woodbridge,
Although I'm certain they're very, very hairy people.
I drink wine...not beer. I don't use utensils for pizza.
I believe in open bars at weddings, not cash.
And its pronounced ESPRESSO, not EX-PRESSO.
I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during the worldcup.
Gelato IS ice cream, Biscotti ARE cookies,
Antonio Columbro IS the best of the tenors,
And it's Broo-SKetta, not Broo-SHetta!!
Italy is the ONLY country shaped like footwear,
The FIRST nation of soccer, And the BEST part of Europe!!
My name is Guiseppe !!!
AND I AM ITALIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
---------------------------------
I AM PAKISTANI
Allo,
I'm not a cab driver, a 7-11 clerk or a gas attendant.
I don't go to fleamarkets, or worship elephants, or eat with my hands.
And I don't know Akbar, Rampreet or Mohammed from Rundle,
Although I'm certain they're very smelly people.
I eat roti....not pita. I don't only shower once a week,
I believe in discounts, not full price.
And I pronounce it WHAT, not VHAT.
I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during a terrorist
siege.
A turban IS an article of clothing.
Spicy foods ARE better than mild foods
Curry is a VERY tasty dish,
and it IS pronounced Gaun-dee,not Gun-dee ,GAUN-dee!!
Pakistan IS a third world country,
The first nation of Cricket
And the BEST part of the middle east!!
My name is Raheem!
AND I AM PAKISTANI!!!!
------------------------------------
I AM CHINESE!
Wai...
I'm not a cook, or a computer tech, or the owner of a laundromat.
I don't live with my parents, I don't eat dog. I don't drive a souped-up Civic.
And I don't know Ping, Ching or Wing from Beddingt Heights
Although I'm certain they're very rice... I mean nice people.
I use chopsticks, not a fork. I rarely drive on the sidewalk.
I believe in giving cash, not gifts
And I pronounce it HELLO, not HARRO.
I can proudly wave my country's flag at a tank during a massacre,
Dim sum IS brunch, Gwai-Los ARE white folk
Jet Li can kick Van Damme's ass anyday.
And it IS pronounced Gon Hay Fa Choi, not Gon HEE Fat Chick
China is the LARGEST country in Asia
The FIRST nation of PING-PONG,
And the BEST remaining COMMUNIST COUNTRY!!
My name is FUNG!!!
AND I AM CHINESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
------------------------------------
I AM AMERICAN
Wassup...
I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked.
And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very
well.
I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg,
although I'm pretty sure they were American.
I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated,
Guns settle disputes, not discussions.
Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,
And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go
somewhere.
Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS,
Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,
I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL!
The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world,
The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!
MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,
AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!
--------------------------------------
I AM RUSSIAN.
(Puts the vodka glass down and takes a pickle)
Privet.
I'm not a nuclear phisicist, or figure skater ...
and I don't live on Steeles and Bathurst, or eat black caviar, or drive Lada...
and I don't know Svetlana, Olga or Nadezhda from russianbride.com,
although I'am certain, they are realy, realy, nice in bed.
I drink by glass, not by shuts
I belive Vodka should be much cheaper.
And pay should be much higher
I do not wear furcoat, even though it's nice and warm.
I don't like canadian winter, but russian winter is worse.
I dont't eat in MacDonalds, there is no dancing there, and they don't serve an alcohol in teacups.
Russia is the largest country in the world,
The first nation in SPACE
And the best place to practice Russian.
My name is Igor, and I am RUSSIAN.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am Ukrainian
I am not a farmer or soldier
and I do not live in Winipeg, eat perogies, or play bandura
and I don't know much about Ukraine, or much of Ukrainian language,
although I am certain the country is nice and language is pleasant.
I don't care about politics
I don't care whom we do have Prime Minister or a President
And I speak Canadian, no matter what some people say its English
I could proudly fly my country flag, but I don't
I rarely it lard, but I like it
They make it dipped in chocolate in Ukraine, I heard.
And it is THE Ukraine, not just Ukraine
And it is almost developed country
and it almost Europe, though it is in Europe
And it is the best place I never been to...
My name is Mikey(Mykola)
AND I AM UKRAINIAN!!!