Спеціально для п. Андрія (Kohoutek'a) (гумор... поки що? ))
07/01/2007 | Георгій
Пане Андрію, пам"ятаю, що Ви цікавилися сучасною Англіканською (Єпископальною) Церквою... Ось одне гумористично-пародійне "інтерв"ю" про них, так, як вони зараз є. 
Re: [Orthodox_Re-Forum] THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH APPOINTS A MUSLIM AS DEAN
The sad part about this is all the below could eventually become true.
JoeS
----- Original Message -----
From: Teresa A. Polychronis
To: Orthodox_Re-Forum@yahoogroups.com ; Orthodox_Worldview@yahoogroups.com ;
Orthodox-Oasis@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, June 29, 2007 10:21 PM
Subject: [Orthodox_Re-Forum] THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH APPOINTS A MUSLIM AS DEAN
----- Original Message -----
From: "Betty and John"
Sent: Friday, June 29, 2007 9:28 PM
Subject: THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH APPOINTS A MUSLIM AS DEAN
http://www.virtueonline.org/portal/modules/news/article.php?storyid=6258
THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH APPOINTS A MUSLIM AS DEAN
A Satirical Essay
By David W. Virtue
www.virtueonline.org
6/29/2007
NEW YORK, NY: The national Episcopal Church, in conjunction with the Bishop of
New York, announced today that it had appointed Sheikh Infidel Ya Money, an
Imam, as Dean of the Cathedral of St. John the Divine on New York's wealthy
Upper West Side.
"This is a sign of God's ultimate inclusivity," said a beaming Katharine.
Jefferts Schori, the Episcopal Church's Presiding Bishop. Standing with her in
the nave of the cathedral was Mark Sisk, the Bishop of New York who fielded
questions to an astounded press corps about the new dean, who stood between
both
clerics dressed in Muslim robes.
"Do you believe in the deity of Jesus Christ?," asked one reporter of the
Imam.
"Good heavens, no. In fact if Jesus (blessed be His name) ever came back to
earth we would probably kill him as an infidel for calling himself God. But
then
he's probably used to pain. I saw the movie you know."
Reporter: Mrs. Schori, Isn't this going over the top, inviting a
non-Christian,
a Muslim, to actually be a dean of an Episcopal cathedral?
Mrs. Schori: Our church is open to all people, regardless of their beliefs,
race, gender class or size of condom, or whether they accept the teachings of
the Bible. We must not get bogged down in minute details about who Jesus is.
His
life, death and resurrection are secondary to feeding the poor, giving aid to
those in need, offering free abortions, and getting the word out about
Millennium Development Goals. I think we are all just a bit embarrassed by His
statement that the poor you will have with you always. We know it doesn't have
to be that way. We have come a long way since Jesus' time. He was somewhat
backward about modern methods of feeding the hungry. I think He would withdraw
that statement if He were around today. Globalization has changed everything.
Reporter: How can an Imam administer the Eucharist if he doesn't believe in
the
atonement; Isn't that intrinsic to the Christian Faith?
Mrs. Schori: My God, man where have you been? Nobody believes in the atonement
any more in the Episcopal Church, just a few old fuddy duddy retired bishops.
It's not been taught in our seminaries for years. That kind of nonsense is so
uninclusive and fundamentalist that it just gets in the way of a more open,
loving and affirming church.
Reporter: Attendance figures at this cathedral have been going down over the
years and the numbers of Sunday attendees is a mere double digit; how do you
explain this?
Mrs. Schori: We do allow special events here that boost the numbers a bit. The
other day Elton John had a wing ding 60th birthday party here. We stripped the
church of most of the sacred artifacts and let him go for it. We got a lot of
publicity out of this in the "New York Times" and across the world because of
all the celebs who turned up. That boosted church attendance figures for a
while. I'm thinking we may need more rave masses to keep the young coming
back.
Reporter: Can you explain how you can use the "abandonment of communion" canon
against conservative Episcopal priests, but not against a priestess who
recently
became a Muslim while saying she was still a Christian and a priestess in good
standing in the Diocese of Olympia?
Mrs. Schori: I don't think you understand the idea of diversity and
inclusivity.
We are a church for the 21st Century. We are thinking write outside the box,
even outside the Bible, which was written by a lot of semi-nomadic types who
thought they heard the voice of God.
Reporter: Is the Bible important then?
Mrs. Schori: Oh yes. It contains ancient myths and stories that can shed light
on our pathway but they should not be taken literally or even very seriously.
The creation story has been overtaken by evolution, but it is nice to read one
idea about how we all got here. We can learn from the Bible in a general sort
of
way but nothing too specific. We live in a far more sophisticated culture. I
mean just think what Jesus would do today with an iPod, cell phone and laptop
in
communicating his truth. He could have his own blog, for heavens sake. Who
needs
to die on a cross when we can communicate so much more effectively through the
Internet! The way of the cross has been replaced by youtube.com.
Reporter: Will the Imam report to you and be accountable to The Diocese of New
York for his utterances? Will his sermons need to be cleared with anyone
first,
just in case he says something inflammatory from the pulpit about how Islam
needs to destroy other religions so it can establish Shari'a Law in America?
Mrs. Schori: Heaven's no. Only a small group of fanatic Muslims believes that
anyway. The only countries you find believing that kind of narrow
fundamentalist
thinking are Iraq, Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia, Indonesia, northern Nigeria and
possibly Turkey, just a handful of nations. Nothing too much to worry about.
Reporter: But there are indications that areas of some large European cities
now
have large Muslim populations where local imams enforce Shari'a Law. Doesn't
that pose a threat?
Mrs. Schori: Absolutely not. True diversity means never having to say you're
sorry.
Reporter: You talk a lot about Millennium Development Goals, but you seem to
be
spending millions of dollars suing orthodox parishes for their properties. How
do you reconcile that use of money versus housing the homeless?
Mrs. Schori: You have to understand these properties are held in trust for
future generations of Episcopalians. They belong to them. Priests and their
parishes just can't expect to get up and walk away with their properties. They
are worth millions of dollars and belong to the National Church which means
me.
Reporter: But what will you do with them if you win the property disputes and
have only a dozen people left in them at the end of the day?
Mrs. Schori: I think you need to read the writings of Jack Spong. See in
particular his 12 Theses. He is re-writing the Christian Faith that will, in
time, bring tens of thousands of people looking for a new way to do religion,
back into the church. We have to have the parishes ready for this great
ingathering. Of course we are also expecting a vast influx of homosexuals,
lesbians, bi-sexuals and transgendered types to rush back now that we have
consecrated our very own homosexual bishop. A new day is dawning. Don't get
left
behind.
END
(Взято з http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Orthodox_Worldview/message/4697)
Re: [Orthodox_Re-Forum] THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH APPOINTS A MUSLIM AS DEAN
The sad part about this is all the below could eventually become true.
JoeS
----- Original Message -----
From: Teresa A. Polychronis
To: Orthodox_Re-Forum@yahoogroups.com ; Orthodox_Worldview@yahoogroups.com ;
Orthodox-Oasis@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, June 29, 2007 10:21 PM
Subject: [Orthodox_Re-Forum] THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH APPOINTS A MUSLIM AS DEAN
----- Original Message -----
From: "Betty and John"
Sent: Friday, June 29, 2007 9:28 PM
Subject: THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH APPOINTS A MUSLIM AS DEAN
http://www.virtueonline.org/portal/modules/news/article.php?storyid=6258
THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH APPOINTS A MUSLIM AS DEAN
A Satirical Essay
By David W. Virtue
www.virtueonline.org
6/29/2007
NEW YORK, NY: The national Episcopal Church, in conjunction with the Bishop of
New York, announced today that it had appointed Sheikh Infidel Ya Money, an
Imam, as Dean of the Cathedral of St. John the Divine on New York's wealthy
Upper West Side.
"This is a sign of God's ultimate inclusivity," said a beaming Katharine.
Jefferts Schori, the Episcopal Church's Presiding Bishop. Standing with her in
the nave of the cathedral was Mark Sisk, the Bishop of New York who fielded
questions to an astounded press corps about the new dean, who stood between
both
clerics dressed in Muslim robes.
"Do you believe in the deity of Jesus Christ?," asked one reporter of the
Imam.
"Good heavens, no. In fact if Jesus (blessed be His name) ever came back to
earth we would probably kill him as an infidel for calling himself God. But
then
he's probably used to pain. I saw the movie you know."
Reporter: Mrs. Schori, Isn't this going over the top, inviting a
non-Christian,
a Muslim, to actually be a dean of an Episcopal cathedral?
Mrs. Schori: Our church is open to all people, regardless of their beliefs,
race, gender class or size of condom, or whether they accept the teachings of
the Bible. We must not get bogged down in minute details about who Jesus is.
His
life, death and resurrection are secondary to feeding the poor, giving aid to
those in need, offering free abortions, and getting the word out about
Millennium Development Goals. I think we are all just a bit embarrassed by His
statement that the poor you will have with you always. We know it doesn't have
to be that way. We have come a long way since Jesus' time. He was somewhat
backward about modern methods of feeding the hungry. I think He would withdraw
that statement if He were around today. Globalization has changed everything.
Reporter: How can an Imam administer the Eucharist if he doesn't believe in
the
atonement; Isn't that intrinsic to the Christian Faith?
Mrs. Schori: My God, man where have you been? Nobody believes in the atonement
any more in the Episcopal Church, just a few old fuddy duddy retired bishops.
It's not been taught in our seminaries for years. That kind of nonsense is so
uninclusive and fundamentalist that it just gets in the way of a more open,
loving and affirming church.
Reporter: Attendance figures at this cathedral have been going down over the
years and the numbers of Sunday attendees is a mere double digit; how do you
explain this?
Mrs. Schori: We do allow special events here that boost the numbers a bit. The
other day Elton John had a wing ding 60th birthday party here. We stripped the
church of most of the sacred artifacts and let him go for it. We got a lot of
publicity out of this in the "New York Times" and across the world because of
all the celebs who turned up. That boosted church attendance figures for a
while. I'm thinking we may need more rave masses to keep the young coming
back.
Reporter: Can you explain how you can use the "abandonment of communion" canon
against conservative Episcopal priests, but not against a priestess who
recently
became a Muslim while saying she was still a Christian and a priestess in good
standing in the Diocese of Olympia?
Mrs. Schori: I don't think you understand the idea of diversity and
inclusivity.
We are a church for the 21st Century. We are thinking write outside the box,
even outside the Bible, which was written by a lot of semi-nomadic types who
thought they heard the voice of God.
Reporter: Is the Bible important then?
Mrs. Schori: Oh yes. It contains ancient myths and stories that can shed light
on our pathway but they should not be taken literally or even very seriously.
The creation story has been overtaken by evolution, but it is nice to read one
idea about how we all got here. We can learn from the Bible in a general sort
of
way but nothing too specific. We live in a far more sophisticated culture. I
mean just think what Jesus would do today with an iPod, cell phone and laptop
in
communicating his truth. He could have his own blog, for heavens sake. Who
needs
to die on a cross when we can communicate so much more effectively through the
Internet! The way of the cross has been replaced by youtube.com.
Reporter: Will the Imam report to you and be accountable to The Diocese of New
York for his utterances? Will his sermons need to be cleared with anyone
first,
just in case he says something inflammatory from the pulpit about how Islam
needs to destroy other religions so it can establish Shari'a Law in America?
Mrs. Schori: Heaven's no. Only a small group of fanatic Muslims believes that
anyway. The only countries you find believing that kind of narrow
fundamentalist
thinking are Iraq, Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia, Indonesia, northern Nigeria and
possibly Turkey, just a handful of nations. Nothing too much to worry about.
Reporter: But there are indications that areas of some large European cities
now
have large Muslim populations where local imams enforce Shari'a Law. Doesn't
that pose a threat?
Mrs. Schori: Absolutely not. True diversity means never having to say you're
sorry.
Reporter: You talk a lot about Millennium Development Goals, but you seem to
be
spending millions of dollars suing orthodox parishes for their properties. How
do you reconcile that use of money versus housing the homeless?
Mrs. Schori: You have to understand these properties are held in trust for
future generations of Episcopalians. They belong to them. Priests and their
parishes just can't expect to get up and walk away with their properties. They
are worth millions of dollars and belong to the National Church which means
me.
Reporter: But what will you do with them if you win the property disputes and
have only a dozen people left in them at the end of the day?
Mrs. Schori: I think you need to read the writings of Jack Spong. See in
particular his 12 Theses. He is re-writing the Christian Faith that will, in
time, bring tens of thousands of people looking for a new way to do religion,
back into the church. We have to have the parishes ready for this great
ingathering. Of course we are also expecting a vast influx of homosexuals,
lesbians, bi-sexuals and transgendered types to rush back now that we have
consecrated our very own homosexual bishop. A new day is dawning. Don't get
left
behind.
END
(Взято з http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Orthodox_Worldview/message/4697)